Facebook is a depressant. It makes you feel like you rather not have friends in this world. My goodness. ____________________________________
Everyday you ask yourself what you're doing. Every empty moment you look around you and let the void fill your soul. You ask yourself what on earth are you trying to do. You search within yourself for the fighter in you. Somehow, you never seem to find what you're looking for. Because in the first place, you heart isn't doing the searching. It's the brain. You're acting according to what you need to do, and not what you want to do. And that is simply not working. You find it so difficult to coordinate your body, mind & your heart. Everything is going in different directions. You just find zero motivation to move ahead. Therefore you slump in your comfort zone. You try so hard to drag yourself out of this pit. But you're not listening to yourself. You find that you're better off staying put. Even though it means the most amount of pain you have ever felt before. But I know that I'm moving everyday. I'm picking myself up slowly bit by bit. I'm learning all the fuck I'm supposed to learn. & I'm growing stronger with the growing amount of pain I'm feeling.
Excrutiating. Feels like you're the platform you're standing on has already broken. No effort is being put in to fix it.
You're barely surviving. And breathing. Not even living.
Hello. Everyone around you is putting in even more effort than you are.
And you're not even lifting a finger. You heart wins all.
You walk pass the familiar shades of blue and grey.
2003 to 2006. It's over.
2007 to 2008.
I think I'm just not for this world.
I don't fit in anywhere. Not anywhere at all.
Maybe ocean avenue.