Wow, I haven't been here in ages. And it feels really weird to type in this little box which I haven't seen in a million years. I feel quite sad actually, that I didn't really keep my memories of 2008 in my blog. I think it'll all fade away soon. I hope it doesn't. ): ____________________________________
Life has been cruel. Mentally and emotionally. I have been studying very consistently, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. I spend the rest of the time thinking of wonderful things which kept me motivated and going every single day this year. The feeling seems so distant. I have to keep myself going by reading old messages and conversations which totally made me so much happier. Because I won't get to feel the same anymore until the end of this year. I wonder how I'll survive the next two and a half months, leading to the A's. I hope I don't and won't give up. I hope nothing gets into the way and drive me wild. I hope I'll hang on.
Sometimes I wonder why. Why why why are things like this and not like that, like before, and as the days pass, my heart aches. But I try to make things fall back in place, all by myself. I don't know how else to go about doing it.
But I know there are reasons for this, and I just have to believe in these reasons. Tell me you'll be there, and tell me it'll work out. Take me through the hard times, and please don't let go. I know, I know. Actually deep down inside, I know what's going on. It just takes more strength that I've ever known of to pull myself through this ordeal.
Of course I still believe. I don't think I'd have made it that far if I didn't. And it definitely made me grow stronger. The entire year had been crazy; I wouldn't have asked for anything more. Maybe it's just what we are, and what we have to go through.
Prelims are starting tomorrow. It's GP, and I have absolutely no idea how to go about sitting through it.
Then it'll be another gruelling two weeks. Or rather, four.
Then the end will draw nearer, and nearer.
I simply can't wait.
Please be there when we reach the finish line. Please.