This year had been a really long, tiring & crazy year. ____________________________________
And this year would be concluded by this entry on the 30th, since tomorrow I won't be home.
The amount of happenings which happened this year was incredible.
So many friendships were made and broken.
Hearts were broken.
Trust was built and shattered.
Love was non-existent.
There seemed to be the most joy and laughter in this one single year as compared to the years back.
But this joy was definitely not true enough to even be compared with what I went through the past few years back in Cedar. Moments I yearned for would never come back anymore. It's a totally different dimension, & things are seen through a different light. Fake emotions forced everywhere, unspoken conflicts happening every moment. Problems unsolved, hatred forged, unhappiness set in, not to mention disappointment at almost every possible moment. The depth is greater, & the wound is definitely deeper.
It was a completely new start to wash off my stained memories of the past which was totally successful. I forgot about the stains, started anew, started being very very happy and loved vj choir alot alot. I remembered how happy I was at the start of the year, tilvvery ugly things started to set in...
Oh well.
I remember hopping from class to class, 07S61 to 07A14 and finally to 07S30, where I am now. Adapting to different styles of different classes, learning so many differnet subjects, getting to know so many different people. But I'm glad I'm in S30 with wonderful people right now, classmates whom I know I can count on, especially my bestbestbestbestbest friend who is worth more than a special mention Yeo Si Ning who has walked 6 years of my life with me and stil is (:
House Comm period, rahrah-ing like crazy, cheerleading, putting in our hearts and souls for draco, and finally pulling out of house, etc, etc ):
Choir played a really big role in my Year 1 life, and it still is and always will. We go to school for choir, we eat sleep shit for choir. Since a year 0, all the way to sitting with the seniors a few days back at tealight during Farewell, Choir has been my life. The choir room is our second home. Without the choir room we will be lost sheep. Times were great and happy at the start. Year 2s were really nice, people were nice to people, little conflicts existed especially before politics set in.
SYF, SOV, Pattaya, Mr Samuel Ting's memorial, and all the random performances in the hall. No doubt it has been a blast singing with VJ Choir. It's frightening to look back and realise that one year in VJ Choir's gone. And what happened throughout this year was worse than a roller coaster ride.
People changed, relationships changed, views and opinions changed. Cliques formed and disbanded. Hearts were put at stake and feelings were in a mess. People stopped trying and after taking a look at this mess, gave up. Saddening, it really is saddening. Sometimes I wonder to myself why am I in such a mess? But sometimes I'd rather be in this shit than not be in choir. Maybe all we need is some sorting out. I still have that little bit of faith and I hope people around me has it too. We're all in this together & we still have one more year before seperate ways.
The secret lies in the passion. I really think so. I think we should just stop wasting time going round in circles hurting one another ): it is tragic and pathetic.
I don't wanna cry at tealight next year, because it's all been a big joke and failure after two years of shit and hardwork at salvaging friendships and relationships. I wanna cry and say thank you to everyone of you for the lasting memory all of you had blessed me with. I wanna say I'm glad I've been in this journey together with all of you & we're ending it together. I wanna say I love all of you, very very much, and I beleive we can make it happen. Please, don't give up. We're at the crossroads now, and it's way to dangerous to split right now. Let's just get back on track and spend this one more year together wisely. Stop fighting, stop hating, stop hesitating in treasuring one another more, please. Just look at how fast time flies. It's definitely worth more than a thought.
Of course I haven't forgot all the fun we had together in the choir room, ponning lectures together to gather in the choir room (: Teasing each other and suaning each other to the max, having random outbursts (directed to sherwin), laughing nonstop at stupid things. All the going out together, sleeping over, alot alot alot more.
And of couse the worst of it all, mugging together for mids and promos (: At the airport and in school. McMuggers, although I feel more than detached from you guys, I still love you guys alot, cos without all of you I wouldnt have passed my promos. I love the reading room, and I wanna thank those of you who followed me in and out of the classroom in circles when I was feeling very distressed at a certain point of time when I broke down (: That was really sweet.
Another thing which impacted me quite alot this year, was jamming. It was a great year with 6sf, and the rest of the random jamming sessions with Matt Yane Josiah Jianhan Ivan etc etc. It was great making great music, and having this bunch of stupid damn talented people to jam with all the time (: It was a joy to be making my way down to L cube each time and just jamming randomly always with an aim in mind but finally always not fulfilling that dream of ours. Finally finally we did a substandard gig on Teachers day which was really a screwed piece of shit cos Yane couldnt perform last minute but luckily there was des & shiangnee. Although it did not exactly go well but stil (: anyway thankyou for everything all of you, cos I wouldnt have been able to experience such great satisfaction anywhere else with anyone else. Although some of them ain't here anymore but I am so looking forward to next year :D
People of my life. Loads came in and out but few stayed. Some disappeared then came back with a shock. Some amazingly stayed the whole way. Chingz, you are no.1 and I love you til I don't need to say that i love you anymore. Although we're so different in so many ways and we're angry at each other sometimes, but we're so alike in so many ways and I'm so glad we're so made for each other. HAHAH. We really share so much more. Xianyong, thanks for staying throughout all the way. For being so understanding and always compromising & giving in to me :D You never really left anyway (:
Owner. You stayed the longest, but you left for the longest time too. You broke my heart the most times, but you never fail to make me the happiest too (: I'm sorry yes I'm sorry ): for everything which I've done to make you unhappy. But I'm so glad I'm part of your life right now, and you did not erase my name from your dictionary. I'm so glad things are like that now. Although we're so far apart, I don't know what's happening in your life right now, I feel so detached. But thanks for always being there for me. For understanding me, and for making me happy all the time (although you never really do anything also). HAHA love.
Well you, thanks for all those memories. At ecp and at bugis, and everywhere else. You never did make me happy for any period of time, and thanks for letting me experience the worst of times and making me feel the most pathetic person on earth. But it's all over and it's okay, I stil wanna thank you for certain memories which won't go away in my mind, which you carved an impression so deep that I can't help but reminisce about what you do best in (: they'll never go away even if i wanted them too, but anyhow, you played a part in this year and thanks alot.
And you, running in circles and finally coming back to the same place. I don't care what we've both gone through. I just hope you won't leave again (:
You have no idea how grateful I am to you.
And certain people who helped me through different parts of my life this year, thank you so much for everything.
BLG, you know I've always got this very nostalgic feeling when I listen to songs like Ban Dao Tie He & An Hao & those emo momo songs by Jay, and the songs we used to shout outside Bishan library, and sing our hearts out. I just went back to Bishan Lib recently and I really miss those times (: thanks for still meeting up though the next meeting would be quite far away, well at least Sophia I'd still see you (:
Sher, the few times I actually met up with you meant alot to me, and made a very significant impact in my life. You know what I mean, and really, thank you, for just listening.
Oh well, at least I had a really great birthday this year HAHAH :D
And carolling was enjoyable :D
And Genting was really fun :D
Actually everything I've gone through this entire year, sorry to say but none of the moments were truely blissful, which I could only find in the past few years and I'm positive about it not coming back anymore. Those were what Cedar and the people could really offer.
But I do hope next year would bring about more satisfaction as I try to be simpler and just concentrate on choir and my studies which I really hope would be the case ): this year was way too distracting.
And my so called resolutions would be simple.
Just to spend more time with my family and hope we'd quarrel less.
Focus more on my studies as priority and Choir as the second.
And maintaining friendships like yours.
2007 was such a roller coaster I would never wanna go thru it again. It was full of ups and downs that noone could ever imagine. Joy, disappointment, anger, guilt, satisfaction, to its extremes, and it was of course extremely dangerous. Dangerously fun but mentally exhausting :D
But I never did regret whatever happened this year, because if there was something less, I wouldn't be where & what I am today. I would not have grown as much and learned as much.
Don't worry, I'd still be the constantly self-amusing zi high Nono all of you know (:
Anyhow, Please let the next year be a simple one.
Happy 2008.