Take in a deep breath, sleep &tomorrow will be a new day :D ____________________________________
Never knew I could feel like this once again. The rush of disappointment was so evident isn't it. As I walked down the streets alone, with the whole world minding their own business and me looking down at my feet. It does help a bit. As I tell myself I can stop this from happening and so I went on to persuade myself. And for the first time I'm strong and I'm hanging on there alone. Just a few curses under my breath and that will do for the day, for ever. Tomorrow is the start of a new day. I'm going to be back on track again. When the expectations are too high I know it; I really do but I choose to ignore it. Bad mistake, bad mistake. It's not as if I don't know what it feels. It may seem like a bloody curse. But darn obviously it's just me. I'm alright, I'm alright. I won't give up the chance of continue being satisfied with life. It's so different now I'm alone now. There's no more you for me to turn to. The world seems darker but it seems like it had always been like that. I lived in too much of a bed of roses in the past. Time to pick myself and and walk, just like how I've been trying to. The sudden intrusion was just nonsense; it wasn't and won't be realistic. So many things I have to accept as time goes by. So many paths to choose. I should have been smarter this time.
And I'm officially sucking at results and it disturbs me tremendously.
I still believe & have trust in what you tell me, like how I should stand up and walk alone, though we're miles apart in our minds. Good luck for tomorrow I know it, I really know you can do it.
It's really not just a game for me.
Somehow I need Pattaya as much as I'm afraid of it.