sometimes i really don't knw what you're thinking too. ____________________________________
you sent me an sms a few weeks ago which surprised me. you have never thanked me in a long long time. then things were so fine on saturday until i said something which irritated you. do you know how long we havent been talking properly until saturday? and something had to come in between. something which, wasn't really my intention but you claimed it to be. it has been about half a year since the day we started quarelling and i can tell you i never felt worse ever before. and to me there was stil a little bit of hope that one day i'll stil see you talking to me like before again, cos i believe this would be one of the toughest times, and just by holding on and not letting go things will, one day, be good.
but.
what you said to me today. i. don't. knw. how. to react anymore.
you will tell me how stupid i am, to just realise that wht i've been holding on to is nothing but, nothing. and how i should have let go long ago to ease myself and to live a better life.
do i even knw you now, at all.
oh. my, god.
you have no bloody idea how much that message would kill. it was like an old wound infected all over again. but of course to you i deserved all these cos i didnt take that warning to give up and walk away and live my own life after all you've said in the past.
'you won't lose me'
'and i probably would have regretted if i let you walk away'
i don't knw what to say anymore.
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life. is stagnant now.
not moving anywhere.
it is,
fluctuating like madness.
pardon me please.