19, the mess.












Saturday, April 28

it really doesnt matter anymore.
really.
and even if you keep sayin you'd be there
i knw you dont even have time for me

its okay.

this time the disappointment is,
deep.
can you feel it?

all of you. walking away from me, one by one.
i've lost it.
i've lost it with you, you and you.

i am tired of trying. and tryg and tryg and tryg.

but
it's okay, it's okay.

i have had enough.

everything is so messed up. i'll just get it straight by not giving a damn. the state of bliss would probably be numbness henceforth. aww how pathetic.

i ..cannot feel anymore.

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and i am sorry, i shouldnt have come into the picture at all. then probably things between you two would have been much better. then no one would lose anyone. i'm sorry naj, i understand whatever you've been tryg to tell me yesterday. and i feel like im feelg what you have been the past few weeks just by shelving it all up.
im sorry naj.

and no, it's whatever that makes you happy.
if you think it's impossible then it is.
don't have to make me happy anymore. i dont freakin deserve it at all.
just ..as long as you are happy.
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i am fckin giving up on everything.

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