19, the mess.












Thursday, July 13

i dont know whats going on.
why does nobody understand?
everything is just wrong.
it's not right.
people dont give a damn.
and why am i doing this? like a bloody idiot.
and some people are such bloody fakers.

they dont give a damn, im serious.
they may not realise, but i'm damn hurt by it.
you cant imagine what torment this is.
and so they're out of the picture already.
a long time ago.
it has never, ever dawned on me it would turn out like this one day.

SO.
some of them just come and go.
and make me realise what the shit i've gotten myself into and it's so hard to pull myself back up.

and so, THAT'S IT.
if thats what you want.
THAT'S THE END OF IT.
the end.
since that's what you have shown me,
TOO BAD.

i dont wanna give a freakin damn about this anymore, okay?
i just wanna concentrate on my prelims.
that's all i want to ask for.
i want to do well for prelims and o's.

and start anew next year.

i dont know how to explain myself.
i'm confused, myself, also.
give me time to sort things out.
will someone just understand?
but noone has gone through this with me.
who would?

no use repeating all those stuff i said a few months back.
they are only worth my memory, thanks.

i want to skip school tomorrow.
it's freakin boring i swear.
just going through the motion.

last performance as a choir member today at acs(b).
last performance.. what can i say?
i just want to thank ms chye.
yeah tears came out, naturally it did. and so i realise how attached i am to cedar choir.
sec threes, take care, i'll miss you guys.

put everything aside for me, let me concentrate, really.
i've no time for these freakin nonsense.

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