tell me i'm making a big fuss out of everything. ____________________________________
tell me i'm wrong.
tell me i need to wake up.
but i seriously.. need a break.
i don't care. those times were extreme but they were fun. they were so memorable. i can't find it anywhere else. i need all of you here with me. i want to see you guys!
i wanna scream, i wanna shout, i wanna run around. playing basketball in pitch darkness although i didnt know how to. lying down with you guys listening to lizards although i werent with you all. rushing over to your house just to wish you happy birthday. meeting up after school at your house to look at old photo albums. teaching you guys the piano. gambling. sakae sushi. vday presents. singing at my house. acting like a superstar. and.. ending it all as time went by. but now it's all coming back. it really is. but o's is coming. we have to concentrate on studying, okay chel? we'll create havoc after our o's. :) we will stay over at each others' house like nobody's business! we will have night gatherings without being caught by the police :)
i feel totally different sitting in front of the computer blogging about all these. it ain't about the emo entries last time anymore. it's a totally different thing. altogether. i have so much to say. yet countless times i could not manage to express myself. i have so much to attend to, yet right now it's just not the most important ones. i want to concentrate on my o's. but are you allowing me to? i want to worry about nothing but studies. just studies will do. is it possible? life is full of ups and downs. if you have too many ups in a row, the downs would be very painful. patience. yes, i'm waiting. but there are just too many obstacles. i had experienced this, just this year. those times were wonderful. but what followed? shit. stop pinning such high expectations. stop hoping for so much. and everything will fall in place. ah, im just glad it all happened.
i want to do chem now.
how weird can i get.
if nothing goes right, i'll have to continue.
until i get it right.
sorry.