okay, i seriously need motivation. ____________________________________
anyway. started going to a chinese tuition, and the teacher said she wants me to get a B3 like WOW. okay i'll try hard
but first i need a motivation.
well well. today's half day was okay. it wasnt spectacular, just that i went out with yuwen and sheena which i havent done so in two whole years. it was quite nice (:
then i came home, lazed and slacked and wondered about alot of stuff.
elvis was online like in a thousand years then when i came across her blog, i felt much better from all the shit im feeling right now.
yes, thankyou! it was so nice. well, i realised what a nice past i had. nice seniors and nice people around me. people whom i could turn to anytime. they were just one level above me. but now, i realised being the seniors of the school aint that great anymore. it sucks. it's crazy. it's stressing. there's noone to look after us. noone to turn to anymore. we're on our own.
although you people are not in cedar anymore but i do hope we still keep in contact?
haha x) miss you all so much.
next, i think i should fly back to earth. right now im in some weird dream of mine stil not aware of what's coming up this may, this september and this november. i need to PULL UP MY SOCKS and get myself motivated.
despite the many blows i suffered, obstacles i overcome, hardships i tormented, ever since the very start of year 2006, i almost gave up halfway. well luckily i got people there for me and around me to tell me NOT TO GIVE UP. since january, this year had been hectic and chaotic. problems surfacing every second every minute 24/7. there were TORMENTING times, but also WONDERFUL ones as well. now things are going extreme. it's either very negative, or so positive.
i really enjoyed the time this year spent with YOU GUYS. yeah, chel kim tim thomas eric nicholas. although we spent really little time together and now that thomas is in shanghai and eric and nicholas aint joining us often, i still remember this crazy chinese new year.
it's just fabulous.
thanks for being there for me! all of you.
which now i have to carry on with tormenting stress. in school, and in various relationships with people. uh, school's getting stressing i can feel it. i HAVENT STARTED STUDYING and that sucks.
and the latter, it just gets on my nerve.
today i started telling myself, i have to be strong. noone's going to be there with you all the way. noone. you have to do it yourself. that sounded terrible. in the past i couldnt survive like this. there was alwayss someone there. someone always reaching out their hands for you to hold on to.
no, not anymore. and that's really sad.
it's so tough, it's so torturing. but sorry, this is how you become a stronger person.
i feel im growing up. not as forceful as clara, as she has her own ways.
i really feel different. it isnt the same old belle anymore.
it's good or bad, i think it's just part of me.